39 + Weeks
I really feel as I type this that there is no end in sight- which is ridiculous because the one thing for certain is that I'm not going to be pregnant much longer. It's been a hard 24 hours. I had my appointment yesterday. I eagerly awaited the news as she checked my cervix (which was so very very painful this time.) I couldn't even hold back the disappointment when she said she didn't think there was any change. How could there not be any changes?? I had two hours worth of contractions just a few days ago... surely that had to get something started? Guess not!
I returned home with Ruthie, we ate lunch and then we both went down for a nice long afternoon nap. I think I sleep better on the couch during the day. Jon arrived home right at the end of our naps and had a fun afternoon playing with Ruthie while I made some dinner. After we cleaned up dinner and got Ruthie into bed, I tried to wind down with a hot bath before my Monday night show began. I was bummed that the entire time I tried to watch my show that I was so uncomfortable that I could barely enjoy it. After my show, I went back into the bath because that seems to be the only thing that gives me any kind of relief. It did! I got out a little bit later and started getting ready for bed. It was then that I laid on the bed praying and crying that my water would break. I waited and I waited, but nothing happened. I didn't want to feel contractions, I didn't want to have the thought... is this time it? I wanted to know without a doubt that I was on a time line. Well, as you can all guess since I'm writing a blog that my water did not break. That I didn't have any contractions that sent me into labor... and most importantly... I didn't have a baby. :( Again, I know it's coming. I know I don't have much more time... but I seriously can tell you that I was not this miserable at the end of Ruthie's pregnancy.
So for now everyone- hold on with me as we finish up this long pregnancy journey. Pray for me. Pray for this little one growing inside me.
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